Last time I was planning to move overseas I was 21 and arrogant (like 21 year olds are).
I knew what I was going there for. I knew some of the people I was going to spend time with (at least for the first few days). I had been to Scotland before. I was ready for an adventure and I was sure it was going to be awesome.
But, this time I’m not 21 and a shitload has happened since then that has made me a lot more humble and a lot more nervous. This time is different. Yes, I will have a work visa, but no I won’t have a job first. I don’t know anyone there. And I have never been before.I will have to find a new home and start again.
I’m excited for the adventure and the possibilities. But I remember the longing for home that I had last time, I wonder how it will be. I’m excited for the starting again, but I’m nervous about it too. It’s BIG. I think because I’m recognising it now, it won’t be such a shock later. It’s my process.
I’m doing some research now, on where’s good to live, what’s fun to do, what the cool magazines are. Things that are overlooked as normal when you’re home, but can give you sensory overload when you’re foreign and desperate to do your shopping without being totally overwhelmed with the funny brand names and the fact that at home blue chip packets mean original and in the UK the red ones do (and they call them ready salted, not original) and that they do not have anything remotely like Cottee’s Cordial.
I think Scotland was a great test run for this. So much of it was taken care of for me, but I still remember the overwhelm enough to know what silly questions to ask the locals now. Glasgow was (and is) a busy city with great public transport and friendly and happy people. It taught me to get up and out to see places. It taught me to laugh more and to accept that I am in fact weird and that’s ok.
Last time I had ideas on what it should be like and how I should be. This time I’m ready for the adventure to help me find that next piece in the puzzle.
I am doing this to test the boundaries that I have set for myself and so that I remember how to live, not with my thoughts on what I think other people want me to be, just for me to be me.
This time it’s not about future job prospects, or 10 year plans. It’s about smiling more and remembering how awesome it is to be able to not only create dreams but to live them.
I am doing this for me. This is selfish, but it’s time for me to remember what it’s like to not only start a goal, but to see it through to the end. And if that helps other people see they can do it too – then that’s a bonus for me and for them.
There’s no time like the present, and Monday, it will be only 4 months away.
Awesomeness is coming, I can feel it.