the other week I wrote a blog post. it was one that let everything that i’ve been keeping inside out. it was hard to write and some of the time i found it hard to breathe. i couldn’t bring myself to hit publish.
but it did help. a little bit. i’ve been struggling for a while now. if i could pinpoint a time where it started, i would say that it was around October last year. it seems like such a long time ago now that it’s may. but it also feels like no time at all.
somewhere along the way, i lost my confidence. my spark. it’s like i woke up and realised that i wasn’t in my early twenties anymore and people were judging me for how my life looks. that’s not all that much that is conventional and i think people see it as wrong. but it’s not just about them. the doubt in me is saying it too.
that’s why i stopped writing this blog. i felt i had nothing more to offer anyone. no value in my words. but i think i was wrong. this blog is what i need to get through the tough days and the way that i can let others know that they’re not the only ones feeling the same way.
the lost feeling hasn’t gone, but it doesn’t always hurt so much. i want to find my way back to the person i was when i started writing this blog. i don’t know how long it will take, or what it will say. but it’s coming and i’m ready.
one day i’ll be brave and share that blog post i wrote with you.
maybe you’ll come along on this ride with me?
photo by me.