So here we are, in a new year, with all the hope that it brings. I feel that I have a confession to make. One that I only recognised for myself just the other day.
photo credit: Eustaquio Santimano
I haven’t given this blog my all. When I got back from my trip to the states I felt deflated and like I hadn’t accomplished anything. It hit me while I was away that I wasn’t 20 anymore and that my shit was not at all together and I let it get to me.
For far too long I held onto the ‘where I thought I’d be’ that I decided upon at 16. Ten years on, my world looks nothing like I thought it would. It was all of this crap that made me think no one would want to hear or read about my trip, so I rushed through it in just a couple of posts and changed by blogs purpose.
I’m recognising now that this was foolish, but I also see things for what they are. After a proper break I can see that last year was a relatively good year for me and I’m feeling reinvigorated and ready to share more of my awesome journey with you.
This year will bring big changes to me and my life and it will test me and my dreams. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Now is my chance to let go of what I thought should have been my future and to actually create one that I am proud of. For now is as good a time as any and if I’ve learnt anything at all in the last 10 years it’s that dreams are what you make them.
Do you have some big changes (or even little ones) you’re going to focus on for 2012? I’d love to hear them.
Here’s to an awesome year!
hey there – everyone has that ‘wake up’ feeling sometime and it doesn’t even happen on birthdays. i realised that while we think we’re in control of our life, it’s only really certain parts that we control.
good to see you’ve found the positive and accept where you are as being a good thing … enjoy the ride. my big focus this week… stop biting my nails :-D my ‘dreams’ are also to do more art, and it would seem that to achieve a dream it’s a stack of hard work involved, so I’m going to get busy … x
one quote I heard once, was … “if there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, get down there and light the bloody thing yourself “
I have definitely experienced the same feeling myself. I am not where I thought I’d be but I finally recognized at some point that where I am is better than where I’d wanted to be. You’ll figure it out, I know you will :-)
I think sometimes we are too modest and don’t give ourselves enough credit when it is due.